ARIES-March 21-April 19-This is a sign which bestows great strength and vitality and a love of action. Your scratch marks are deeper than anyone else's and you love to torment neighborhood dogs. Someday, they will put a price on your head.
TAURUS-April 20-May 20-The emblem of earthiness rests on your proud chest, yet your actions manifest themselves in a great love of physical and material comforts. You eat like a pig and are the only cat on the block to have a charge account at Saks. You are lucky to have lived this long.
GEMINI-May 21-June 21-Bright, clever and quick witted, you are nonetheless a dilettante and a pipsqueak. Remember, nobody loves a wiseguy. If only you weren't so cute.
CANCER-June 22-July 21-You are sociable and fond of amusement but too easily affected by the world about you. You make small children giggle and other cats purr. So why does it smell so bad after you've been in the litter box?
LEO-July 22-August 21-Like your cousin the lion, you are noble, dignified and capable of rising to positions of wealth and power. You also pack a terrific right paw and have a fetish for tulips. Later, they will make a movie about your life.
VIRGO-August 22-September 22-You are finicky, overly fond of detail and overly critical. You will only eat certain foods, and then only when the mood strikes you. You prefer using the litter exactly 29 seconds after it's been changed and spend half your waking hours preening yourself. But you've got to stop playing with bugs.
LIBRA-September 23-October 22-You have a deep love of order, ease and peace. Except in the middle of the night when you howl and break expensive things. You will probably wind up as a change purse.
SCORPIO-October 23-November 21-An extremist who is firm and obstinate, energetic and self confident. Life is a tree, and you cling firmly to the top limb. What you don't know is, they've already sent for the fire department.
SAGITTARIUS-November 22-December 21 - Characterized by sincerity, candor and generosity. You fall asleep a lot in the middle of dinner and like to talk to faeries. You really wish you were a bird.
CAPRICORN-December 22-January 20- Serious, thoughtful, subtle and reserved, you will never get over the time you almost fell into the toilet. Whenever they want to know who's been tearing open the sofa, you are always asleep.
AQUARIUS-January 21-February 19- Frequently unusual and different in either appearance, ideas or attitudes about life. The first word you ever said was, "Moo." You like having your fur stroked in the opposite direction.
PISCES-February 20-March 20-The sign of the dreamer and the poet; an impractical spirit in a practical world. Everyone else looks in the mirror and sees a cat. You look into the mirror and see Muhammad Ali.