this chapter ought to be called, "Trying To Get Your Pussy To Talk Back."
For there is nothing unusual about people talking to their pussies. it
is done all the time. People do it because they are lonely ("What did
you do saturday night?" "Oh, nothing. I just sat in the corner and talked
to my pussy.") or because they have no one better to talk to ("Hello,
pretty baby. Don't you look beautiful tonight." "Thanks, George." "Back
off, Selma, I was talking to the cat.") or because they love their pussy
("Oh, God, I love my pussy.").
The secret is in trying to get your pussy to talk back.
Now, before you are consumed by waves of doubt, let me be quick to point out that the occurrence is not unprecedented. Many pussy owners have succeeded in establishing a meaningful dialogue with their little hairy friends. It's just a question of knowing how to go about it.
How To Go About It: You may not think this is going to work, but all I can say is try it.
Roll a cucumber in yeast, then stroke it gently but firmly until it gets warm and moist and begins to rise. Rub the turgid tuber with cat nip, then smear on a greasy unguent and pack the practically pulsating pickle in a pint of peach preserves. Wave the warm concoction under your pussy's nose so that it understands what's at stake here, then gently suggest to the quivering creature that unless it makes with a few choice sentences, you're going to stick it in her ear.
All I can say is, you'll be surprised at what happens.