You ask yourself, "How can I tell if my pussy is really sick?"
There are many ways.

Give $22 to a veterinarian to do it for you.

Throw a live tuna fish on the floor and study pussy's reaction. If there isn't any, chances are something's wrong.

Ask your pussy, Are you sick?" Once you have got your answer, take some action.

Some Action: Make sure pussy is as comfy-cozy as possible. Put it on a fluffy bed of pillows in a room with lots of lace curtains and calico. Give it sweet cream and talk to it in baby talk and make it a cute little pair of pajamas. This should make your pussy throw up and feel better.

Some More Action: Leave pussy alone. Nature has provided its own devices for taking care of sick animals. So just let nature take its course. Unless pussy comes to you and asks for some penicillin.

Watching Pussy's Diet: When it is under the weather, pussy will not eat what it usually eats. It will want a more bland diet. So cut out the chili peppers and 10-year-old Scotch. Not to mention the rich sauces and heavy desserts.

Your Bedside Manner: Your bedside manner is very important. Try not to be boisterous or too cheerful. Don't blow cigar smoke in pussy's face or stay too long and make yourself unwelcomed. Be somber but solicitous. Quiet decorum is in order. Remember, in their hearts, most pussies are Presbyterians.