You may notice these "urges," because pussy will be bouncing off the walls and howling and sliding up and down the bannisters. If you do not have bannisters, pussy will be sliding up and down your leg.

These "urges" are only nature's way of telling pussy it is time to get some. If pussy cannot get some, that is bad news. It will get cross and erratic and pass remarks about your relationship with your mother.

For reasons of your own, though, you might not want pussy to have some. Perhaps you do not want your house littered with kittens. Perhaps you are not getting any yourself and don't see any reason why your pussy should. Whatever, you should be prepared for dealing with the hots.

Dealing With The Hots: Recognize that pussy is suffering extreme physical and mental anguish. Try coping with these problems separately. To deal with the physical, keep your pussy in a dark closet until the urges seem to pass. To deal with the mental, keep shouting into the dark closet that if the cat doesn't stop whining, you are never going to let it out.

Being Reasonable: This approach may seem harsh to you. If so, try being reasonable. Try telling your pussy that it is not in its best interests to have its normal, biological needs satisfied.

When you both stop laughing, stun it with a two-pound tube of K-Y lubricant, then lock it in a dark closet.

Preventative Action: Here, you have decided to accept the inevitable. The call of nature is too strong, and pussy is going to find a way to have it satisfied. So sit down and have a person-to-pussy talk about contraceptive devices. Maybe you can learn something.